There have even been talks by leaders of the church which would point one to think that way as well. I believed this at one time. I do not any longer. In some cases these issues may be valid but for the vast majority, it is not the case.Host John Dehlin (featured caricature) and others, seek to answer this question in the Mormon Stories Podcast. The show typically consists of John or another host interviewing various mormons and their experiences. The guests range from people who have left the church and have embraced different belief systems like atheism or even evangelical christianity to LDS scholars like Richard Bushman (author of Joseph Smith-Rough Stone Rolling) and Dr. Ted Lyon (retired BYU professor; currently President of Santiago Chile Temple). Some episodes range in content from homosexuality to uncomfortable church history to what to do when one spouse stops believing while the other remains a believer.
I don't want to give the impression that this podcast is negative though. John Dehlin is an active member of the church and in good standing. With the exception of those who have left the church, which seems to be the smallest group, most of his guests are also active members who at least find peace in the church and even believe in the church. What it does, however, is expose members to many of the less comfortable aspects of the church but in a way which does not seek to damage faith but create understanding in a [sometimes brutally] honest and very real way. It also attempts to build a bridge to those who have lost their faith through this understanding.
So, how do we help these "lost sheep"? There is a tendancy in the church to shun people who leave by choice. I think it's almost a tribal instinct. The natural man. Simply put, we love them. We accept them. We don't fear them. Respect their choice to leave if that is what they choose to do. Support them if they wish to stay or return to the fold. In short, don't judge them. Let them know that whatever they choose to do, you will still be there for them. This is the spirit of what John Dehlin and Mormon Stories is about.
So what are some of the issues people deal with which can lead someone to leave the church? This episode gives a pretty good overview if you're willing to go there, as well as a more complete section on how to help:
Why People Leave the LDS Church and How We Can Help
3 comments:
Mormon Stories is awesome. Love it. Your caricature of John is spot on!
I just want to say this resource is one of the most valuable out there... literally worth hundreds of dollars in counseling, college courses, etc. John has gathered in one spot all you need to know about the complexities of the Mormon experience. Especially admirable is the way he is working both to define "Mormonism" as the broad, inclusive category it should be, but also creating a community of support for those all along the spectrum of Mormon diversity. And nice caricature Jeremy. :)
That particular podcast on why people leave the church, was lifechanging. I'm an exmormon whose family has disowned me and won't speak to me because I've left the church. But my brother got my dad to watch that podcast, and in the conversation they had afterwards, my dad hinted at regret and seemed to suggest that he understood that the way they are treating me is wrong. My mom's heart is still hard, and my dad goes along with whatever she says no matter how he feels, so progress is still slow, but just the fact that I was able to get this message through to them, means so much, and plants the seeds to future softening. And even if it doesn't soften their hearts, just to hear that message was validating and encouraging to me in a significant way. Just to know that there are mormons out there who don't agree with how I was treated, and that it isn't the entire mormon church shunning me, but really it's just my mom. John is truly doing God's work.
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